Now Playing Tracks

Ahh…I just LOVE not being able to go to bed when I want because my cousin/roommate is fucking his girlfriend and it’s too awkward hearing their moaning when I go upstairs….Seriously guys, keep it the hell down. Or here’s an awesome idea! HOW ABOUT YOU GO TO HER HOUSE BECAUSE SHE’S FREAKING 38? NO? ‘CAUSE SHE HAS A 14 YEAR OLD? THEN WHY THE FUCK IS SHE STAYING OVERNIGHT HERE ALL THE TIME? WTF??????


i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked


The worst part about mint for me though is…

I keep giving it chances…

I am like “well maybe this food item will blend well with it and it won’t taste like…FUCK IT STILL TASTES LIKE MINT GOD DAMMIT BLAAARRG”

And it’s always the same. Toothpaste in my food.

Then I am usually like…

"Well I guess…





A Surprise Pride and Prejudice Engagement

(Note: This isn’t me)

See? This is a tailor-made proposal. Not some “big screen of basketball game nonsense. This person took into account his girlfriend’s pastimes and favourite things in the world, knew how close to the family she was and engineered the perfect engagement proposal, without a doubt managing to make sure this would please her (surely her mother and sisters would know).

This is how you do big gestures.

This is so awesome I can’t even.  

Also, the look on her face as she came into the house.  Hehehehehehe! 


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